The Last of It

Spending time with Renee was certainly the high point of the trip. She was our tour guide through town, mentioning memories she had made here and there. Eventually she directed us to a park on the edge of town.

We were transformed into kids again, playing on the swings, walking on jungle gym, trying our hand at the monkey bars. Anything to lighten the mood for Renee – who undoubtedly had heavy thoughts clouding her mind.

Although it was beginning to get dark, we strolled through the grassy trails, finally able to talk without Mother’s nagging presence. It was clear Renee was resigned to her fate, but hopeful that within a short amount of time she would be able to work, save up some money and return. Glad that she hadn’t fully given into despair, I smiled outwardly. But inwardly I worried about how unrealistic her expectations were.

As the bugs snacked on us, we decided to head to a local retailer still open for the evening. Browsing the stacks and making jokes, we knew the night was winding down, but were reluctant to leave. Mother called twice, stating she was concerned and wanted to know exactly where we were and what we were doing. She has always thought being in our presence was some reason for alarm, and that we were going to kidnap Renee. (No, Mother, I’m not stupid enough to get in trouble with the law on your account).

After the second call, we decided to call it a night and return her to the motel. We said our sad good-byes, but it was a little better knowing she would be with her father over the summer and we’d see her again soon.

Trying to get a leg up on the trip back, we headed towards home. Plans to stop at a hotel were scrapped as Lawrence drove us home through the night and into the next day.

I love to travel, but it was a sigh of relief to come back home and to “normal”. 

So It Begins...

What should be a happy occasion is laced with anxiety and a tinge of sadness. My intelligent little sister’s graduation should be a cause for celebration, for cheer. Instead it’s a 500 mile trip of white knuckles through the mountains, hoping my recently repaired car is truly repaired. 

As her father (Devon), my husband (Lawrence) and I travel to our destination, we muse over small things – the changing landscape, how big her class is, if we’ll meet her significant other and what (not if) her mother has in store to make this occasion less momentous than it is. It’s a bleak, but honest, view of what we know is inevitably in-store. I try to stave off tears, knowing after this there won't be any quick drives to see her at her father's during holiday visitation. Renee has stated her intent to continue living far from us, in order to remain among the community of friends she has finally been able to build for the first time in her life. I am proud of her and how she has grown, but I don't relish the thought of having to treat a visit as an actual vacation to have quality time together. And we're both miserable conversationalists on the phone. 

The day crawls from morning to lunch to late afternoon as we wind through the hills, occasionally stopping to fuel up and stretch our legs.

10 miles out, Devon calls Renee to let her know we are close. There is commotion in the background – the problems have already begun. Mother is making arrangements to meet anywhere but their home. And since Mother won't do anything that doesn't benefit her, we know something is up. Red flags raised, we make it a point of heading there straight away, instead of the proposed meet-up location.

Turning off the beaten country road, we begin inching down the gravel lane that provides access to the main road for a few homes and trailers set inside the field. An oncoming speck slowly grows larger and morphs into an old blue Mustang – Mother's car. The back windows are tinted, but I still can tell with a growing despair there are boxes in the back. Boxes for moving.

Moving 600 miles away merely two days after graduation, away from Renee’s friends and serious significant other of 2+ years. Friends that she has been fortunate to make in high school, after already being transferred through 4 previous schools. Moving away from the place I’ve seen her happiest.